Pastorally, I regularly help people navigate transitions. Moving to a new place. Starting a marriage. Beginning your first professional job. Entering graduate school. Learning how to manage your bills.

Resist the urge to glorify the last stage in order to criticize the present. “I liked the restaurants better back in Ohio.” “My old boss was sooo nice–there’s no way the new one will ever be the same.” “The cafeteria was so much easier than all this grocery shopping and food prep.” “There’s no church like my home church.” “Back in Egypt, we had better food.”

Name the transitional stress and give yourself permission to grieve the very real losses–without falling into the grumbling trap I warned about above.

Explore the new place and lean in to the local loves. Where do people love to eat? Where do they love to hike? Where’s the best view in the county? What exciting things are happening in the local churches? Your growing love for the new place does not need to threaten your loyalties for the previous stage. You’re adding value, not subtracting. There may be scary giants in the new land–but there are probably also giant blessings to be discovered by faith.